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Her father introduces us, we shook hands and I steered her towards the drinks table. We chatted for some time while we both assessed each other. I am just over six-foot, slim with a good set of shoulders. She was also tall, about two inches less that me, her body was hard to assess very accurately for her dress was pretty shapeless; this made me initially suspicious about her. She knew, as I did that we were going to be introduced so why wasn't she wearing something a little more flattering.Aware of my family pressure, I asked her for a date the following week. We met at a wine bar and we carried on to eat somewhere. Again her figure was hidden from me, her dress was long and loose. After we had finished I took her home to her town flat."This is a little embarrassing," she said after she fixed us drinks."Yeah a little," I agreed. We smiled at each other, her face lights up when she smiles."Look I like you," she smiled at me, "so let's us take it one day at a time, ok." Sure," I. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately. I tell her simply “You’re screwed”. Her look doesn’t change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared. I continue. “I am sterile”Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women’s logic. “You’re full of shit. You’re trapped and you know it”.I hold up the letter and the test results. “Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine”.This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. “Bullshit, those are fakes”.I was ready for.
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